Promises
by Silvergorgon
Summary: Naoto Shirogane finds out that shortly after telling her husband she won't want children for a while that she's pregnant, and she's panicking. Hard.
Naoto Shirogane is panicking. She hates to admit it but the moment that she looked at that test her heart had wanted to leap from her chest and made her more nauseas than she'd already been feeling. It had been an hour since she had decided that she could no longer stay in her comfortable little world of denial and decided to take a test she was really hoping would come up negative. Still staring at the infernal piece of plastic on the bathroom counter she did something she hadn't done since her wedding day two years ago, she cried.

"What do I do? I can't possibly be pregnant, we use protection!" she thought to herself, kneeling on the bathroom floor, clutching her stomach.

"Naoto you fool, it's not fully effective, and you know this full well. Calm down immediately! This is fine, go through your options. Okay, breathe..." She told herself, starting to get up off the floor. She exited the bathroom slowly still not fully certain she could support herself. Once she had seated herself on the western style bed she insisted on buying for herself and Kanji she began her internal list of options.

First on the list was abortion. Possibly the easiest option for her to take, but then she remembered the tiny, not yet feeling foetus now growing within her. The more she thought about the life that foetus could lead should it be allowed to grow into a child, then an adult, she knew that she would not be able to forgive herself for giving up a life so easily as that. Naoto hurriedly discarded that option altogether. This brought her to her next option.

Giving the child up for adoption was her next potion. She had heard how difficult adoption was from Yosuke and Yu, so she was sure that the child would go to someone who could look after them, but then again, she had heard of children that never got adopted, that thought made her head snap up and her hand fly to her stomach once more. The thought of a child, her child, being as lonely as she felt during childhood caused by Naoto herself horrified her. She'd also heard from people that had been successfully adopted themselves that the feeling of knowing their biological parents did not want them had caused them not to trust people, to make them sad and angry even caused neurological illnesses like depression and anxiety around people. This option also found itself discarded.

This left her with the option she feared most, raising the child herself. She knew parenthood was difficult. It's not like she does not like children, Nanako and Yuichi had proved that much, she loved them both, but then again she did not raise them. She did not wake up every two hours night and day two feed, burp, dress them, change their nappies (she'd heard that one was not pleasant at all.), she'd never kissed a bruise to make the pain go away, never gone to a parents evening, taught anyone to walk or talk or count and all the things parents are meant to do. She worried to herself about whether she could do those things, tried to imagine reading bedtime stories to a child that looked like a pleasant mix of her genes and Kanji's. Though the prospect became less unthinkable, it was still terrifying. What if she messed up? What if she was not present enough? What if something happened at school and she couldn't be there? What if she died? That thought made her start crying again. The mere imagining of leaving her child alone in a world so scary was horrific to her.

"Though" she thought to herself "Kanji would be there as well". That was when she realised that she was not alone in all this at all. Since she saw him interact with Nanako she knew he would be a wonderful father, and she also knew he longed to be one. However when she'd told him she was not ready but two months ago he'd said he already knew he'd have to wait.

"'Honey I know yer not ready yet, Ya have yer work ta think about. I know. I'll wait however long ya want, okay?" She remembered he'd said.

"Well" she thought to herself sighing inwardly.

"the wait was shorter than anticipated it seems" she laid back on the bed, remembering exactly how that conversation had come up, they had offered to babysit Yuichi for a day, Naoto was holding him and cooing at him and she noticed Kanji standing at the door giving her a look she knew all too well, one that signalled he was imagining the future, she had caught him giving her this look a few times and so asked him what the matter was.

"Just thinking 'bout how great a mom you'll be, you got a real talent there, he's been fussing fer twenty minutes then when you hold him he looks about ready ta sleep."

"What?- Kanji you know I'm not-"

"Hey, honey I know you're not ready yet, Ya have yer work ta think about. I know. I'll wait however long ya want, okay?"

As the memory finished she recalled how he interacts with children and how her heart would always flutter slightly, even before they were a couple. She could not help but imagine him now doing things like singing lullabies and playing tea parties and other childish games. She knows he'll be there to help her do all of those things, that though she may not be very good at make believe or giving her advice about friends, she has people to help, Kanji's mother, Yu, Yosuke, Yukiko, Chie, Rise even Teddie would help them. All of a sudden the prospect of raising a child seemed less scary, less unbelievable.

"Well little one, I suppose we'd better get started on reading up on your upkeep." With her mind made up she got up off the bed with a smile and headed straight for her laptop, once she'd opened it she realised.

"Oh lord. Kanji does not know about me yet, how do I tell him?" She worried, she'd have to be sensitive about it, she couldn't be clinical and cold if she tried, she was too happy to do this the way she normally would. Then an idea sprang to mind that seemed to be almost perfect for him, it's not really her, but he'd appreciate it. She looked at the time in the corner of the screen on the laptop and decided she'd need to be quick to get everything she needed before Kanji came home.

"Right then, we'll read later, to Junes I suppose" as she pulled on a pair of shoes and her coat her excitement rose to the surface in a smile and a gentle hand on her stomach once more.

When Kanji returned home he was unbelievably tired, he'd been helping Ma in the shop all day with a very snobby customer that wanted a very intricate and complicated design doing in a very short period of time and was offended at the price they'd received for their order, it had taken all day to get the design down and discuss a 'fair' price, while in reality the woman was even annoying ma and that is a hard thing to do.

"Naoto, I'm home! I bought Aiya's on the way back from work, I'm sorry but I am incapable of cooking tonight." He shouted into the apartment, when he looked up and didn't see his wife he called her again.

"Naoto? Are ya in?"

"I'm here Kanji, its fine just wait a second!"

"Funny" he thought to himself as he put the takeout food on the counter "She's usually down here doing research for cases by now" he called up to her.

"Ya want me to come in? You sound like you need help"

"Not yet! Just wait! I'm fine, just, ah! There! Come in!"

"Okay, what's got ya so excited? yer usually asleep or researchin' cases, if I didn't know any better I'd say that the police were being competent today or something!" He joked, sitting on their bed next to his wife who seemed to be hiding something behind her.

"Here, don't ask what it's for just open it!" What she'd handed over to her husband had him slightly confused, what she'd handed him was a blue gift bag with crepe paper poking out of the top, the tag missing.

"Just open it?" He asked, now wearing a puzzled look on his face.

"Yes! Yes! Open it! Come on!" His wife commanded him impatiently, acting almost like a child, now biting her lip and changing her glances from him to the bag expectantly.

"Okay! Geez, okay" As he opens the bag and takes away the paper he sees an envelope and a small stuffed panda, he reaches in and takes out the bear and the card with a questioning look on his face.

"I suggest you read the card dear" she says with even more impatience and nerves in her voice.

He tears open the envelope and takes out the card, which has the word 'Congratulations!' written on the front, he open's the card and it reads, "We did not have to wait as long as we thought we would!" in Naoto's handwriting.

"What do ya mean?" he asks confusion evident now.

"There is something else in the bag Kanji" she says with a nervous etched on her face, pushing the bag back toward him gently. As he pulls the bag toward him and opens it, he sees a small rectangular shape in the bottom, getting curious about what his wife could possibly be so excited about, he lifts it out and studies it again in the light, his face pulling into an expression of slow realisation.

"N-Naoto, is this a pregnancy test?" he asks her a smile threatening to break out across his face

"Yes it is." A similar expression was on Naoto's face too and with those words Kanji leapt from the bed and shouted his joy!

"Yes! Oh my goodness, I can't believe this, you're not joking around with me are you? This is real right?!" He grasped Naoto's hands in his own with an earnest and joyful smile stretched from ear to ear.

Wearing a smile remarkably similar to his she laughed and replied

"Of course I'm serious! Kanji we're having a baby!"

"Ha-ha! Hell yeah! I can't believe this! Naoto you're pregnant! We're parents!" His elated cries rang throughout the apartment. He fell back down onto the bed, still smiling and pulled Naoto into a hug.

"I love you so much Naoto..." She laughed into his chest and held him tightly as she replied.

"I love you too Kanji..." feeling the atmosphere calm down around them, the couple embraced, however as Kanji's thoughts sobered he remembered the fact that only two months ago his wife had made it clear that she was not ready for children yet, suddenly worry washed over him like a tidal wave.

"Wait, I thought you said you weren't ready for a kid yet? Are ya sure you want this?"

"Kanji, I have thought over it all, I couldn't bear to take any other option, and then I thought, we both have enough money and support to do this properly, besides, the more I thought about actually raising a child with you, it did not seem as scary as it had been initially. Don't misunderstand me, I have never been more terrified, but it's not of the child itself, nor the responsibility of parenthood, hell we were responsible for the safety of the whole planet! It's getting it wrong, hurting someone I love. Not being able to protect them. But I believe that the fear of being a bad parent will eventually work itself into an energy that will help guide us into being good parents instead. So though this is a surprise, I don't mind, because I love this child, and I personally would rather I died than even indirectly harm them." A solid determination sat in the couple's minds; they'd be the best damn parents they could ever be, because even though they weren't even sure how to begin, this kid deserved all the love and care it could get.

"I know how you feel, I'm feeling it too" then he let go of Naoto and addressed her still flat stomach, laying a gentle hand where he knew his child would be.

"I'll be the best damn father you've ever seen kid, even if I die tryin', even though I know I'm not the smartest, and I can have a temper like a raging bull, I'll always love ya, no matter how bad you mess up. I promise." Kissing Naoto's stomach, Kanji felt his wife shake briefly. He looked at her face and noticed she had tears in her eyes, he pushed himself back up to her and tucked Naoto under his chin, holding her tightly. Feeling himself welling up too he buried his face in her hair and smiled.

"Kanji, that was beautiful... I love you so much, both of you, okay? She looked down at her stomach, where Kanji's hand was still pressed and laughed lightly. The couple took this moment to share an affectionate kiss, at least until Naoto's stomach grumbled loudly.

"Naoto have you not eaten?!" kanji asked, shocked that she has not been looking after herself properly.

"It appears I have not, did you mention something about food when you came in?" Kanji suddenly remembered the takeout he'd gotten for them both.

"I brought some takeout for us but should you be eating stuff like that?" He fretted, no way he was going to risk his wife's health now.

"It should be fine as long as it's not sea food and is fully cooked" she replied as she sat up, now realising just how hungry she really was.

"Okay, just this once, but from here on out I'm home cooking everything okay? Can't be having an bad diet pregnant or not." He started after her and headed straight through the hall way calling to her.

"You just go and sit down and I'll bring it through for ya, okay?" Naoto sighed at her husband, the molly coddling had already begun it appears.

"Get used to it Naoto, he's only going to get worse" She thought fondly as she sat.


End file.
